Taryn's Journal

I can't decide...
Okay, here's the story. There is this guy, (let's call him #1) who is 4 years older than me, in his OAC year, while i was in my grade 9 year. He is the SWEETEST guy ever, and really caring and stuff, but whenever we would talk, i would never learn about him personally....and he also has a girlfriend. So we just talked and stuff on the phone and every once in a while we would hang out together, with his friends and mine. His girlfriend didn't like me much at the beginning, but she learned that we weren't doing anything wrong just talking as friends. He would occasionally tell me something that seemed more than friends, and i know that he has feelings for me.

Then there is this other guy (let's call him #2) who came into my life...he's 2 years older than me, but he is too an amazing guy...he actually listen's to things that i have to say! I learned about his life, his parents, his favourite things, and whatever else. he is also VERY goodlooking, and he confessed to me that he liked me a lot. At the moment i was torn between the two guys, and i told him that i couldn't decide then and there. He said that he would be waiting for me whenever i changed my mind.

#1 told me that he had a gift to give me just a week or so ago...and he said that it was a ring...a gold ring with DIAMONDS. A promisary ring. I didn't know what to say!!! Then for a bit i stopped talking to him because it really scared me, making that kind of commitement at such a young age...i haven't even had a boyfriend in a good relationship yet! So i know that i can't make that decision already. And i think that he's still going out with his girlfriend, as well, which makes things even worse!

#2 i think is that one that i want to be with, but i don't want to hurt #1's feelings! i want to tell #2 that i like him, but he's not home right now, he's away...i haven't talked to him in a really long time, and i don't know what to do! please help me!